Admit it. You read that title and you thought, Whoa Brandi, when did you start writing porn, and where can I access it?
Sadly, no. I have not made the jump to erotic writing (yet), the cocks and pussies of O’ahu are not nearly so exciting as that.
Maybe I should explain, the island of O’ahu is absolutely overrun by cats and chickens, AKA, Cocks and Pussies. And while they may not be as exciting as erotic dancers or exposed genitalia, they are certainly cuter. Take a drive around just about any part of the island and you will be treated to at least a few examples of cats and chickens hanging out and generally chilling together.
Chickens were introduced to the Hawaiian islands around the same time that the volcanic archipelago gained its first human inhabitants, sometime between 300 and 800 AD, according to the best evidence available. But it wasn’t as if the islands were lacking in fowl when the first Polynesians arrived. A combination of island insularity and a lack of all mammalian predators had lead to an extraordinary outgrowth of native bird species found nowhere else on earth.
Of course, people did what they do best. And in the next several centuries of development, the islands lost at least 35 species of bird, known only today through the fossil record. This expanded with the arrival of European sailors (Captain Cooke foremost among them, pray that we all reach an end as grisly and entertaining as his), whose onslaught led to the extinction of a further 23 (and counting) bird species.
But, not only did the Polynesian people bring animals like pigs, rats, and dogs, and the European people bring more of the same, plus goats, cats, and other livestock. They all brought, you guessed it, more chickens. So, the chickens you see today when zooming around Hawai’i in your rental Jeep are a feral hybrid of those early jungle fowl brought by the first inhabitants of the islands and the more domesticated version later introduced by the Europeans.
The only exception to this is located on Kaua’i, where the state’s only ‘truly wild’, as in, not feral, chickens reside. At this point, it may be more accurate to call them ‘Red Jungle Fowl’, as that is actually what they are, and in fact, what all chickens are descended from. But I have yet to see the mythical ‘wild’ chicken, and I still have my doubts that chickens can really survive on their own, at this point, after living on O’ahu for a few months, I’m pretty sure they need at least a couple of pussies to survive.
The pussies of O’ahu! Oh Mylanta the pussies! They’re everywhere! There is no single place on the island that you will not find a semi-feral cat, even if you don’t see them, they are there. There are probably cats living on the USS Midway Memorial, and there are certainly cats living in the Hilton Hawaiian Village complex. I’m not complaining, you know I love cats. But I have never seen such a preponderance of pussies in my life!
The funny thing is, once you get out of the most urban areas of O’ahu, the cats are almost always paired with chickens. There will be whole parking areas covered in a layer of lounging cats and fowl, seemingly coexisting without a care. The cats have all got the slightly ‘clipped’ ear, indicating they have been captured, fixed and returned back to the wild to do their cat things. This management of feral cat colonies, now common in large cities around the world, is managed by the Hawaiian Humane Society and the very well named Hawaii CatFriends organization.
You may not know this, but studies upon studies upon studies have showed that the best way to deal with a semi-feral, invasive animal species, like cats, is to maintain resident, non-breeding colonies. These cats control their own little territories and prevent other cats and critters from moving in. Plus, when you fix and release them, you have no new kitties to worry about.
Volunteers set live traps for the kitty-cats, take them in for a snip, and then take them back and release them. BadaBingBadaBoom, but wait, what about the chickens? Where do they come into all of this? Well, the chickens, luckily, do not have to be trapped and fixed like the cats do, though both are rampant on the islands. But that doesn’t explain the unique relationship between Hawai’i’s feral cats and feral chickens. Do the cats ever attack the chickens, do the chickens worry about the cats? I don’t know. But it would seem that the two occupy similar ecological niches, that is, within the urban and forested areas of Oahu, both cats and chickens live, eat, and behave in similar roles. And there doesn’t seem to be any animosity between the two.
Both are semi-feral, both are invasive species, and both seem to be just fine with living wherever they land. In fact, the cats and chickens here are probably the happiest, chillest feral animals I’ve ever seen. That’s not meant to encourage you to go up and pick one up though. Please, and this is a rule for all feral, semi-feral, or wild animals; don’t feed them. Try not to bother them, and certainly don’t harass them. If a cat comes up to you for a pet, who’s to stop you? But don’t treat them like they’re your pets, and don’t mistreat them.
I count the Cocks and Pussies of Oahu among its most charming of features. Maybe one day you’ll come here too and see for yourself just how unique, and adorable, the cats and cocks can be. Don’t worry, you won’t have any trouble finding them.
Sources
Kanahele, George S. Waikiki: 100 B.C. to 1900 A.D., An Untold Story. The Queen Emma Foundation, 1995.
Hawaii Audubon Society. Hawaii’s Birds. Island Heritage, 2005.